Can a long-distance relationship work? If yes, what are the best long-distance relationship tips to make it work?
This is a question that is usually on the mind of anyone that is either getting started in a long-distance relationship or someone who is involved in one.
In this article, I will be sharing some long-distance relationship tips backed by science that can help your relationship to last longer.
This is because the average duration of any relationship is 5months. That is why setting goals for your relationship either long-distance or not is important if you really want it to last.
However, fortunately, most long-distance relations do last. According to this latest long-distance relationship statistics, the average length of a long-distance relationship is 4months while 50% of all long-distance relationships led to marriage.
So, if you are in a long-distance relationship and you are wondering, the good news is that it works.
The bad news though is that like every other type of relationship, it involves a lot of work.
That is, it is important to remember these long-distance relationship tips if you really want your relationship to last
22 Best Tips For A Long-distance Relationship
- Healthy Communication
- Avoid temptation
- Sexting tips
- Manage expectations
- Maintaining spark
- Fun things to do together
- Do not annoy your partner
- Visit each other
- Set a goal
- Be honest
- Exchange gifts
- Go the extra mile
- Avoid playing the power game
- Trust each other
- Be the last person and first person they talk to
- Sometimes write letters
- Meet in person
- Use this time to know the person
- Clean your mind by keeping your partner in your own thought
- Know what helps you cope
- Have other interest
Let us explain how each of these tips can help you make your long-distance relationship work better.
#1: Healthy Communication:
This tip is not #1 on our list for nothing. One of the top reasons most people seek counselling is because of lack of good communication in their relationship. According to research, it is predicted that better communication leads to a more satisfying relationship.
A good relationship starts and end with good communication. Communication is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. That is why it is important to learn how to communicate very well if you really want your relationship to work. A good communication is when the person you are talking with clearly understand what you are saying. Healthy communication can make a long-distance relationship last longer.
Make sure you set time to talk about everything. However, do not overdo it. Excessive communication can quickly become a pain in the neck. Set time to call each other everyday and do not limit your communication to only phone call. Have video chats, send SMS, send emails. Just do not overdo it. Learn to respect your partner’s time and schedule.
#2: Avoid temptation:
Do you know that your brain chemistry affects your willpower? To avoid temptation, you need to avoid situations that would get you worked up or lead you to being tempted. When you understand your triggers and how they affect your decisions, you will be able to keep your head clear. This includes avoid situations that can get you hot e.g spending time with opposite sex you are attracted to, spending time all day long wandering around the internet or getting drug at the club. All these things and more can lead you into situations where you can become compromised and if it persists, then I wonder how long your will power can last.
It is hard staying in love with someone you do not see every day. But there are little things you can do to make sure that your partner constantly feels closer to you. Texting when done right can be the key to building the connection and keeping it strong. When done right, it can help the relationship.
The benefit of texting is to help you keep in touch with each other. But do not overdo it. Make sure you do not stray too much out of your own or your partner’s own comfort zone. Make sure you give a heads-up if you are sending a sexy picture of you. Avoid the classic “I miss you”. Spice things up by saying things like: I wish your sexy body were lying down next to me”.
One word of caution: do not overdo it.
Texting is meant to keep the communication going so do not go sending him 30 text messages in a day.
#4: Manage expectations:
Managing expectation is something you need to learn if you are in a long-distance relationship. Unlike other relationships where you guys see each other practically every day, for most long-distance relationship, this will not be the case. In the light of this, you need to learn to manage your expectations. There will be days where you feel lonely and forlorn. There will be days when you feel like seeing and holding your partner and unfortunately, they are far away. You need to know that such a thing like this will happen so you must prepare for it.
#5: Maintaining spark
I know I talked about sexting above but apart from sextexting, there are tons of other things you can do to keep the spark in your relationship. Relationship is about good mystery and one way to do this is to ensure that you constantly find ways to maintain the initial spark you feel in the relationship. Some easy ways to do this is to either video chat when you are in the shower etc. Technology has advanced in such a way that you can even things like remote vibrators to turn things up a notch.
#6: Find fun things to do together:
Not being close to each other does not mean that your relationship must be boring. There are ways you can find things to do together despite the distance. Some of the things you can do together and really have fun doing it is learning to play video games together.
#7: Do not annoy your partner:
One thing you can do that can quickly ruin your long-distance relationship is to continue to annoy or irritate your partner. Yes, there is no way you can be in a relationship and not have friction but when you deliberately annoy your partner, you build up resentment that can quickly turn to irritations which can further damage the relationship.
#8: Visit each other:
It is only called a long-distance relationship not a not seeing relationship. No matter the distance you should make plans to visit each other. The amount of distance between you both will determine how frequent this happens. Most people in a long-distance relationship visits each other once every quarter.
#9: Set a goal:
Setting goals are linked with higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and research has established a strong correlation between goal setting and success.
That means if you want to be successful in your relationship, you need to set smart goals.
Setting smart goals can help make your relationship last longer and work. Goals that could be set include. Make sure your goal is smart (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound). No matter how long your relationship is going to last, you need to set goals on meaningful things such as when you want to take the relationship to the next level etc.
#10: Be honest:
Learn to be honest with yourself. A long-distance relationship is hard, and it is not meant for everyone. There will be nights that will be so lonely and cold you could wish your partner were with you and unfortunately, they are not. Do not take it up against them or against yourself.
Be realistic and know that such a moment will pass.
Start and keep to a schedule. While it is good to sometimes spice things up a little, most times you should have a schedule and plan for almost everything. From phone calls, to game night to video chats, you should have a schedule and plan for it.
#12: Exchange gifts:
Gifts are one of the 5 love languages. Everyone appreciates a gift that is well thought out. Gifts do not have to be expensive and you do not need to wait for the anniversary to give gifts to your loved ones.
There are different gifts you can give. Check out some of the best gifts for long-distance relationships.
#13: Go the extra mile:
Being in a relationship is demanding, being in a long-distance relationship is tougher. You need to be willingly to go the extra mile to make the relationship work.
#14: Avoid playing the power game:
Who calls first?
Who apologies first?
All these things spoil and bring strain to the relationship. A good relationship is not about who does what first. A good relationship is all about understanding and working in your partner’s shoes. Even when you know you are right or wrong, avoid playing the power game in your relationship
#15: Trust each other:
If you want to go far in your relationship, you need to build trust with your partner. Most relationship dies because there is lack of trust. And to build trust, you must earn it. Little things such as petite lies, inconsistency can lead to breach of trust in a relationship. And once trust is broken, it is hard to mend.
#16: Be the last person and first person they talk to:
Be on top of mind by being the last and first person your partner talks to everyday. Doing this does not mean you should call them every single day but simple things like text messages can make sure that you stay top of their mind. Sometimes, wake up around 5am and send them a message or wait till around 11pm to send them a good night message.
Go ahead, try it now
#17: Sometimes write letters:
I love writing letters.
Letters are one way to keep the spark flowing in your relationship. Sometimes when you pen down your thoughts, you reveal inner trust and beauty that your partner will love. Take inspiration from some of these long-distance relationship songs but make sure you do not copy them.
#18: Meet in person:
A long-distance relationship that work will require that you meet in person occasionally. This is part of keeping the spark alive. Make sure you find schedule time to meet your loved one according to your own set goals. Try to meet once every 6 months, if the distance is not too much but if it is, once a year is also a realistic time frame to see each other all other factors considered.
#19: Use this time to know the person:
One thing you should not do during this period is to waste the time on frivolity. Use the period of the relationship to get to know each other very well. Ask meaning relationship questions that will let you know and understand the time of the person you are dating. This period should be spent knowing each other.
#20: Clean your mind by keeping your partner in your own thought:
It all starts and ends in the mind. Do you know that when you think about someone, they also think about you? An experiment was conducted in which a man was staring at the back of another man. Do you know that the man being stared at, turned back, and looked in the direction of the first man?
That is the person of thoughts.
Leverage it wisely. Keep your own mind sane by keeping your partner in your thoughts and not living like you are alone.
#21: Know what helps you cope:
Long-distance relationships can be hard but by knowing what helps you to cope, you can survive it. When you feel like hugging and holding your partner, what do you do?
When you feel bored and just want to go out with someone, what do you do?
Learning to know the things that helps you cope in some of these situations will make the relationship less strenuous on you.
#22: Have other interest:
Interest is everything. As much as you want to invest time in your partner, you ned to realize that you also have a life.
Having a life means you have other interests that keeps you busy. There are lots of things you can spend your time on like learning a new skill, a new language, a new side hustle, learning to play a musical instrument and much more. The good thing about all of this is that the more you have other good interest, the better you have things to talk, share and laugh about with your partner. What other way do you think you can make your conversation more interesting than to talk about this thing rather than spending 40minutes, talking about how much you miss them.
Why Most Long-distance Relationship Do Not Work
Even though you now know how to make your own long-distance relationship work, sometimes some long-distance relationship is not just built to last. The following signs are red flags to show that you might just be in a relationship that will not work
- Lack of communication
- Lack of patience
- Unavailability of partner emotionally
- Lack of understanding
If you see any of these signs, it might just be time to rethink the whole relationship.
Now over to you. Which of the long-distance relationship tips are you going to start implementing so you can make your own LDR work?