Do you often wonder why do women cheat in a relationship?
I met Angela at the gym and as two young women; we kicked off our friendship very fast.
At 38 years, Angela was a self-sufficient Architect and a mom of 2 kids.
We spoke about a lot of things and usually – of course – about her relationship.
Anytime she talks about her relationship, I noticed a deeply sad look in her eyes; Angela and her husband have grown apart and while they were still married, she was definitely not happy.
That was not a problem on some days; I could counsel her and on those days, I did.
But the problem was on other days.
On days when it wasn’t just me and Angela in the gym; days when there were other men. And on such days, Angela became friendlier, flirty, and anytime any of the men respond to her, her face lightened up and her face shone with happiness.
That was the problem.
A problem most couples face; infidelity.
One of the major causes of divorce in most marriages is the issue of infidelity. While the argument about who cheats the most is vague, in my little time as a counselor and talking to other women, I have discovered that the following reasons are some of the many reasons most women cheat in their relationship which are very different from reasons why men cheat in a relationship.
Why Do Women Cheat On Their Partners
- Lack of communication
- Grown Apart
- Lack of good intimate lie
- Lack of desire for body care
- Cheating for the fun of it
- Flirting gone wrong
- Lack of care from the partner
- Temporary Experimentation
- Lack of satisfaction
- Lack of maturity
- Looking for excitement
1: Lack of Communication: When communication breaks down in a relationship, it is a pointer that there is a breakdown in the relationship itself. It is mostly a resultant effect of accrued mistakes on one or both parties. When there is a lack of communication, it creates a gap that widens every day. And some women will try to fill that void with another man, which can result in infidelity.
2: Grown Apart: Several factors play into a couple growing apart including lack of communication and unresolved issues. If a woman discovers that she’s finding it easy to lean on someone else emotionally, then she needs to watch out. When the husband becomes a roommate in the house and you do things mechanically and civilly, then you have to know that you are growing apart from your husband and you need to sit up and fix it.
3: Lack of a good sex life: This is a frustrating factor that leads to infidelity and the most common in our contemporary days. Sex is an integral part of a marriage and when a woman is deprived of it, it leads to frustration and inherently cheating. Also, it might not be deprivation in some cases but poor sex life, i.e. when a partner is not being sexually satisfied by the other spouse, it also leads to frustration and inherently, seeking good sex outside of the marriage.
4: Disagreement (on time, money, etc): When spouses cannot see eye-to-eye on salient issues like time, money, etc, it brings about disagreement which leads to resentment. By the time this resentment builds up, it makes women seek succor outside of the marriage for the woman.
5: Lack of desire for Body Care: As mundane as this may sound, it is one of the top factors that play a role in cheating in a relationship. When the husband throws caution in the air and doesn’t care about his physical or outward look, and starts looking disheveled and untidy, this can be a major turn-off for the woman. If not paid attention to, it can lead to cheating.
6: Cheating for the fun of it: This is a factor that might be hard to wrap one’s brain around but it also is common in cases of cheating. Some women cheat because of the thrill of cheating and getting away with it.
7: Flirting: Most people say flirting is harmless including some relationship experts but it is really a factor that can cause serious issues in a marriage. The thing with flirting is that it may start off harmless but it can easily and quickly catalyze and before you know it, cheating has occurred.
8: Lack of Care: Care comes in various forms; emotional, verbal, physical, financial, etc. When a woman senses a withdrawal or absence of care in any area, she could go see that care from the next available person willing to offer it.
9: Temporary Experimentation: Some women, most times due to peer pressure, don’t want to be seen as boring, staid, and uptight. Their feelings for their spouse are not in question but when they cheat, they do it to experiment or measure up to their peers in that aspect.
10: Lack of Satisfaction: Satisfaction, in this context, can be broad and it could relate to sex, marriage life, job, or even life. When a woman is dissatisfied, there is every tendency that such a woman will seek satisfaction outside of the marriage.
11: Unhappiness: Also, a lot of factors can contribute to unhappiness in a relationship like childlessness, emotional neglect, poor sex life, low or no involvement in finances, low or no involvement in decision making, and so on. Whatever the case may be, when a woman is not happy with the state of affairs in her home, she tends to seek reprisal outside of the home which leads to cheating.
12: Lack of Maturity: This is one of the top factors that play a role in cheating in a marriage. When one or both parties are not matured enough to handle issues, those issues can pile up and result in resentment or the couple drifting apart, with an immature wife finding emotional fulfillment outside her marriage.
13: Looking for excitement: When a woman feels her marriage has fallen into a mechanical pattern and becomes boring, and it is the same old thing all over again, she might be tempted to cheat to seek excitement and experience new things again.
14: Revenge/Punishment: Surprisingly, many women actually cheat to revenge on their husbands for being a bad husband or for cheating on them as well.
15: Lack of Self-control: When a woman is unable to control her sexual appetite or discipline her desire for material things, she tends to seek gratification outside of the marriage.
16: Lack of Affection: This often occurs in marriages that are not based on love. When there is no affection present in a marriage, a woman can get fed up easily and seek validation outside of her marriage.
17: Temptation: Many of the factors listed above can tempt a woman to cheat, and she could also be tempted by a man who is bent on having an affair with her.
Since the average human can only process 7 information at once, here are the 7 reasons why we think women cheat:
- Sense of Adventure
- High Expectation
- Sex Starved
- The Good Guy Syndrome
- Physical Attraction
Having seen many factors that play into women cheating, every ‘Angela’ must identify what factor(s) may be present in her marriage and address them quickly. Seek professional help, talk to a marriage counselor. Save your marriage.